2ply JAG
by littledemonpixie
Summary: The Admiral makes comment that Harm takes literally and decides it's time for some fun toilet paper style. Can he convice Mac to help him? What Harm and Mac don't know is that their actions will land them in a roll of trouble.
1. The Statement and The Planning

2ply JAG

By: Comm. Butler

Disclaimer: I don't own JAG or any of the characters…yadda, yadda, yadda

Author's Note: FINALLY! I am writing another humor story! I think my whole drama phase is on a vacation and I can loosen up a bit, but if you like my dramas I will continue to write them. I know this absolutely would never happen on JAG and they would probably get in more trouble for it but I thought it would be funny. Please review I love to hear from you. BTW the season finale has NO affect on this story. I also just left Mattie and Webb out of this for convenience.

JAG HQ

1025 Romeo

Admiral's Office

"You two have screwed things up once again! What the hell do you mean he disappeared! A prisoner doesn't just disappear out of a heavily guarded cell and this jerk needs to be caught, he doesn't go around killing Seals on my watch!" Harm and Mac were standing at attention.

"That is exactly what happened sir. The Marines went to get him so we could question him and when they opened his cell he was gone. There wasn't any evidence of him even existing in the prison. We're sorry." Harm said again and the Admiral yelled back.

"Well sorry doesn't cut it! You find him and lock him up permanently and if you don't I will accept your apology when the two of you get married or some hooligan TPs JAG, and then I will think about it! To think you two were going to be on the promotions lists soon."

"We were sir?" Mac asked excitedly. The Admiral snapped at her.

"Colonel didn't you learn not to speak when standing at attention and being reprimanded, now get out of my sight! DISSMISSED!" AJ barked and Harm and Mac almost ran into each other trying to get out the door quickly. Only when they were in Mac's office did they speak again.

"Man what is up his six? God are we ever going to catch a break?" Harm said slamming the door. Mac sat down at her desk and shrugged.

"As long as I'm working with you I'm certainly not and you probably never, so get used to it Flyboy. Now what are we going to do about our little disappearing act?"

"Well we have to look for him, no else at any of the offices can they are up to their shoulder boards in cases."

"Well I'm up to my oak leaves and you're up to your wings, but I think those can wait so let's get out of the office for the rest of the day and do a little field work." Mac said grabbing her cover and purse.

"Sounds good I suggest we start at the local pubs where our friend might hang out." Harm suggested and Mac nodded and after stopping by Harm's office they got a set of keys to a JAG car and then began their search for a mystery man.

JAG Parking Lot

1920 Romeo

Same Day

"Well Mac here's your car…"

"Yeah I guess I'll see you tomorrow and we will continue the search." Mac said letting out a heavy sigh.

"Hey Mac it's not like I'm going to fly away, you know." Harm reassured her.

"I never know with you."

"Why would I fly away when I have everything I want right here?" Harm said softly and Mac inhaled a sharp breath and bit her lip,

YES! This it! Harm going to tell me he loves me… here it comes… Mac thought to herself and Harm continued,

"I'm staying right here, I've got a wonderful career in the Navy, and large supply of comfortable boxer shorts…" Harm thought to himself Come on Rabb you're stalling just spit it out! "And a gorgeous Marine who… likes to sing along with rock music in the car, could it get any better?" Harm finished mentally kicking himself. Real smooth Rabb! What is your issue? 

Mac's heart fell into her stomach and she added,

"I guess it doesn't get any better. See you tomorrow." Mac then climbed into her Corvette and pulled out of her parking spot. As she looked back in her rearview mirror she saw Harm slamming his head against the car and cursing. She smiled, knowing full and well even though he hadn't said it out loud he loved her because he was trying to but instead he whimped out. Mac was glad she had that affect on him.

Harm's Apartment

North of Union Station

2305 Romeo

Harm was sitting and thinking about the day and it's events. He had gotten to spend the day with his favorite Jarhead and yet he still couldn't tell her that he loved her. He had for the longest time been contemplating whether or not to tell her the truth, but it had been the Admiral's ranting this morning that had gotten the wheels in his mind turning.

__

"… I will accept your apology when the two of you get married or some hooligan TPs JAG, and then I will think about it!"

Suddenly it hit him and he jumped up thinking to himself,

Yes this is extremely childish, stupid and could get him into a ton of trouble, but I'm going to do it, but first I need to get Mac. 

Mac's Apartment

Georgetown, VA

2 Hours later

Mac was jarred from a restless sleep by a sharp knocking on the door. She recognized it as Harm's because of the metallic sound his academy ring made on the door. She didn't even bother to put on a robe she just turned on the light in the den and then unlocking the door she opened it.

When Mac opened the door and Harm's mouth fell to the floor and his eyes widened. Mac was standing there in nothing but a black silk nightgown, and was barefoot and touslehaired. His immediate reaction was to slip into erotic fantasy world, then he had an idea that he might be hallucinating again and he reached out to touch her. When his hands touched the slick fabric that covered her upper body, he thanked god for letting him see this.

Mac shivered under his fingers and then decided,

So the Flyboy wants to play and get raunchy, well two can play that game. 

Harm was in heaven that is until Mac slapped him. He was hit back to reality and Mac exclaiming,

"That is some nerve Harm, just reaching out and… and touching my… get in here you idiot!" She quickly pulled him inside and shut the door. Harm suddenly looked extremely guilty. He hadn't meant to fondle her so to speak, she continued on.

"What on earth possessed you to do that? Just reaching out and, I thought you knew me better then that. Well what do you have to say for yourself?" Mac pretended to be furious, if any other man and just done what Harm had, his butt would be skidding on the surface of the moon, but Mac actually had melted at his touch.

"Umm Mac there was no excuse, I just well I thought I was hallucinating again and so I reached out and… umm, look I need your help." Harm tried to apologize and Mac instantly softened. Sighing she sat down on the couch and let her gown ride up to the middle of her thigh. This was plenty of punishment for Harm and she was surprised when he just took a deep breath and continued,

"You are probably wondering why I'm dressed in all black." He again glanced at her scantly clad figure.

God this Sailor has some serious self-control. I guess I will have to try harder. Mac thought but replied out loud crossing her arms.

"Yes I am unless your pretending to be Batman, but you don't look like a Bruce Wayne to me. You look more like oh I don't know… what do you think?" Mac was now centimeters apart from Harm and she raked her fingers gently down Harm's chest. She felt him shudder and then he pushed her away.

"Mac we are going on a mission."

"At one in the morning? Might I ask what we are doing?" Mac asked hoping for a smart-ass answer.

"Yes, our mission is to TP JAG HQ." It was Harm's turn to laugh inwardly as Mac's eyes widened. She hadn't expected that and finally she stammered.

"ARE YOU CRAZY! No way! Absolutely NO! I will not help you!" Mac took another step away from him.

"Aww come on Mac who will suspect us. The Marines don't start guarding until four am so on one will know and the Admiral said he might consider our apology if…"

"I know what he said! But if you remember he also said if we got married it _might_ and the keyword here is might that…"

"There is still a possibility of us tying the knot I've been thinking…" That got Mac to shut up.

"But still Harm I don't think we should."

"Mac, we have done more dangerous stuff, why not have a little fun and if anyone finds out why not go out with a bang."

"How about we not go out at all and stay in the military and have successful careers."

"That's not what I was talking about Mac and you know it. Tell you what if you pull this prank with me I will leave it up to you as to the other part what do you say?" Harm held out a hand, Mac smiled and shook it.

"You have yourself a deal now let's go, we only have one hour and fifty minutes." Mac then turned and ran off to her bedroom to change and in ten minutes they were walking out the door both clad in black and ready to get in some very serious trouble.


	2. Pulling It Off and Onto Phase Two

Author's Note: As you requested, here is the next part and I must say that one of my reviewers has some rather colorful language. I hope you like it, I'm not quite sure where exactly I will take this but I hope you stay on for the ride. Also if this part doesn't make much sense let me know because I wrote it a one in the morning. It stinks to be an insomniac!

JAG HQ

0300 Romeo

Harm pulled up in front of the building and they got out and he went and opened the trunk to reveal it full of toilet paper.

"Good lord Harm how much do you use at your apartment?" Mac asked picking up a roll.

"Well certainly not this much, thank god for Sam's Club. Now let's get to work shall we?" Harm said and unrolled the roll a bit and then tossed it at the building. Mac closed her eyes and with a ' I can't believe I'm doing this' she threw it. It hit the building right over the Admiral's office window and it unrolled and she opened her eyes and squeaked.

"Yes bullseye. Give me another one Harm." Harm handed her another and together they began throwing toilet paper like there was no tomorrow even daring to trying to do back hands and some interesting throws. Mac even pulled off a front handspring before throwing it and Harm dropkicked one. Within the hour they had emptied the trunk and stood back to admire their handy work. The building was completely covered it seemed and Mac looked a little uneasy.

"Should we have used the whole trunk, I mean it is going to be an awful mess to clean up."  
"We won't be cleaning it up remember, now let's get out of here it's five till." They hopped back into Harm's car and they saw about a minute after they had pulled out onto the beltway one of the regular Marines sadan turning off towards JAG and they realized how close they came to getting caught. Harm dropped Mac at home and then went to his apartment. By the time he arrived it was time for him to be getting ready for work.

JAG HQ

0934 Romeo

The next morning

It was the talk of the office the next morning, someone had actually had the guts to TP a military office, on one except Harm and Mac knew who had done it and they didn't let anything slip. The Admiral stormed in and Harm and Mac quickly retreated to their offices. AJ went into his office and threw down his belongings and then had a look at the his desk, resting on top of all the files was a videotape that had a post it attached that read urgent. AJ popped it into the VCR and watched in horror as in black and white saw his two senior officers throwing toilet paper at the JAG building. Thank god the Navy had forked over the money for a new security system for the perimeter of the building. The Admiral continued to watch as his rage built up. Harm and Mac were in for it they just didn't know it… yet.

JAG HQ

1 Hour Later

Courtroom

"COMMMANDER RABB! COLONEL MACKENZIE! MY OFFICE _NOW_!" The Admiral roared into the courtroom interrupting Sturgis in his cross-examination. Harm and Mac's heads whipped around so fast they could have broken off their necks. They were in trouble and they knew it, they figured it was about the case however. Quickly they stood and scurried out after the Admiral issued a quick apology to the judge who looked at Sturgis,

"Well court is in recess until after lunch, and Commander do you know what AJ is so worked up about?"

"I don't have the faintest idea your honor." Sturgis shrugged, and grabbing his briefcase walked out and headed to the bullpen to find everyone else listening and waiting for the Admiral's tirade. Harm and Mac must have really screwed up, and they had.

Admiral's Office

Harm and Mac stood as straight as possible waiting with baited breath for the Admiral to start in on them and he did just that.

"YOU TWO DID THIS! You two vandalized Navy property! I can't believe you! You make me SICK! This is embarrassing! The SECNAV will be here in three hours and our building is covered in 2ply toilet paper! You two are so dead, I will throw the whole damn UCMJ at you and your careers in the Navy and Marine Corps are OVER! You _were_ my two best officers and you have disgraced yourselves, I thought you would know better. Did you think that you wouldn't get caught? Didn't you know about the new security system?" AJ waited while Harm nd Mac stared straight ahead, Mac had a tear running down her cheek. Then AJ realized they had no idea that they had been videotaped they hadn't know all the risks and then suddenly it occurred to him why they had done it and he burst into laughter.

"You did this to get me to accept your apology didn't you? Well guess what I got a call before I came to get you saying that they found the guy who was killing the Seals you two didn't have to do it. Oh my God I think that is the most any two officers have put on the line for me to forgive them, aside from their lives, this is hysterical." The Admiral was on the verge of tears and Harm and Mac chuckled nervously.

"Yeah the jokes on us sir." Mac whispered nervously. AJ stopped laughing and turned serious.

"Commander, Colonel you two will be cleaning this mess up but first we need to take a photo opportunity." The Admiral pulled out a disposable camera and the three of them went outside and Harm and Mac were forced to stand in front of the building and have their picture taken by AJ, who took it quickly and then added,

"This will be going in the Navy Times, now before you pick this mess up I have to ask are you two getting married as well?"

"Umm I don't…" Harm started but Mac finished,

"Maybe sir, maybe." AJ nodded and then handed them several trash bags and returned to the office.

"Well where should we start?" Harm asked. Mac looked at the mess they had made and shrugged.

"I say we start at the bottom and work our way up."

"Sounds good." Harm said bending over and picking up one of the rolls that hadn't quite made it. Mac shook her head and began to do the same.

They worked for two hours and were now on the roof. The hardest part had been the window ledges and with Mac in a skirt it was hard for her to crawl along, but she was smaller then Harm and the ledges were only so wide. They had worked in silence, Mac's anger had been building up. Now that she realized that she had let Harm convince her into doing this she was kicking herself. She picked up a wad of toilet paper and chucked it at the back of his head. It hit him and he turned around and looked at her.

"What was that for?"

"For getting me into this."

"You didn't have to, you could have talked me out of it. That thing you called a nightgown certainly was."

"Red light Harm!" Mac said throwing an empty roll at him.

"Well you certainly aren't innocent, as I recall you were the one making the 'sexual' advances and I was merely a pawn in the game." Harm stated setting down the bag and taking a step closer to her.

"Now that was uncalled for! But… I suppose you're right, but it was too much fun to see you squirm and I couldn't resist." Mac said also taking a step closer to him.

"Oh so I'm irresistible now? That was nothing, I can show you how extremely…" Harm said closing the space between them so that she could smell his cologne. Mac was having a very hard time keeping her hands off him. She had to get away, she took a step back and her legs hit the roof ledge, shit she was trapped. Harm took a lock of her hair and brushed it away from her face, tucking it behind her ear. His fingers brushed her cheek and electricity shot through them both. Harm smiled, he had no idea he had this affect on her.

"Harm! Don't. We shouldn't be doing this not that I'm not enjoying it but, it is inappropriate." Mac said trying to push him away.

"Well you were being very inappropriate in your apartment last night as well and I am just returning the favor, but the longer you complain the longer you are going to have to suffer." Harm warned as he ran his hands down her waist which sent shivers all over her. Mac bit her lip as his arms encircled her and pulled her up against him. She could feel almost every muscle in his rock hard torso through his shirt. Mac's mind was telling her to stop him to kick him or punch him, but she couldn't move. Her heart was going a mile a minute and she tried to control her breathing, and she couldn't seem to get enough air. She had wanted this for so long and she aching all over from trying to hold back the passion that she wanted to expel so badly. Harm's fingers ran softly up and down her spine and she finally let out a heavy sigh and whispered,

"Harm we really shouldn't…" But she stopped when he lowered his head and laid a soft kiss on her neck.

"You are one gorgeous Marine…" Harm spoke into her neck and kissed her again. Mac let out a low moan and whispered back huskily,

"I love you Harm." Mac closed her eyes and instinctively leaned her head back to give him more access but suddenly she felt the cooler air of the outside on her neck where Harm's breath had been just seconds before. His arms were no longer around her. She opened her eyes to find that he was standing back a few steps looking at her with a huge grin on his face. Mac instantly burned crimson.

"I see I made you blush. Looks like there is one Marine who has a thing for Navy Wings of Gold. I told you I was irresistible. Do you want more?" Mac's Marine wits came back and her defenses came back up.

"I…I… most certainly do not! I should report you for harassment and fraternization!"

"Well I plead guilty counselor, so what is my punishment?"

"I don't know I haven't decided yet and since we are finished here I say we go back down and get to work." Mac then picked up the trash bag she had carried up and walked back to the stair well that led back down into the building. Harm followed her and then he stuck his hand in his pocket and fingered a small box and said to himself,

"Phase two complete on to the final phase."

Do you want me to continue? If so I need those reveiws


	3. The Final Phase and More Videos

Author's Note: Here is the final installment in this story I hope you have enjoyed the ride and that you will continue to read stories that I will post later this summer and so on. I need a little time to come up with some more creative story ideas, in about a week I have a big one to give ya'll but you will have to wait and see. Thanks again for your wonderful reviews and taking the time to read my stories. I also left the story open-ended so use your imagination, and if you have an idea on how to continue let me know!

JAG HQ

1645 Romeo

Courtroom

"Major Romeraz this hearing suggests that you under go counseling and we do not recommend this to general court martial, this hearing is adjourned." With that the judge banged her gavel and quickly left. Harm and Mac packed their briefcases and congratulated their client who then was escorted out by the Marines. Sturgis who was prosecuting took his leave quickly as well. Mac was about to walk out of the courtroom when Harm stopped her.

"Hey Mac, umm can we talk?"

"Why yes of course, how about we go to the library though. The Admiral has taken a liking to bursting into courtrooms at odd moments." Mac reasoned and Harm nodded and they headed for the library.

Upon their arrival, Harm was glad to find it empty. Mac sat down at one of the large tables and Harm sat down across from her.

So what did you want to talk about Harm?" Mac asked even though she knew what was coming.

"Well it is about earlier today. I'm really sorry about what I did on the roof I was a total jerk I shouldn't have done any of that." Mac laughed.

"You're apologizing! This is nuts! You think I was offended by it! And I was thinking it was going to be something more serious like I don't know…"

"Well that's not all I wanted to talk about, when we were up there fraternizing or whatever you want to call it, you said something that has to make me wonder, you said that you loved me. I want to know whether you mean it or it was a heat of the moment kind of thing." Harm asked slightly embarrassed. Mac clapped a hand over her mouth and her eyes widened.

"I said that?" She then added to herself Oh this is just peachy! I told him I loved him and I can't remember doing it! Great, memo to self, find a steel bulkhead and bang my head against it! Mac stood up and went to the nearest bookshelf and slammed her head against it. It wasn't a steel bulkhead but it would do.

Harm stared at her in disbelief and answered back,

"You meant it didn't you? You love me?" Harm rushed over to her and pulled her away from the bookcase, looking at her curiously. Mac let a small smile escape her lips and she turned red again and nodded. Harm let out a cheer and then grabbed her up in his arms, spinning her around. He then set her back down grinning from ear to ear. Mac looked up at him and asked,

"The feeling is returned I assume?"

"Oh yeah! I love you Mac! I am the happiest naval officer alive!"

"And the luckiest too I suppose."

"You bet. You have no idea how long I have wanted to ask you that." Harm embraced her again and Mac could feel something pressing against her thigh.

"I hate to ruin the 'hallmark moment' but is there something in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?" Mac added with a grin.

"Of course I'm happy to…WAIT! I get it! No, sorry I'm not that happy at the moment, and yes I do have something in my pocket and it is for you. Which brings me to my next point, that is remember the other half of the Admiral's speech yesterday? He said if someone TPed JAG and we got married he would accept our apology."

"Correction Harm, he said _or we got married_ and remember he said he might consider it and what would it matter anyway, because they found our client remember?" Now it was Harm's turn to look embarrassed.

"Oh, right, he did phrase it that way didn't he? Well then that was all I needed to tell you then, so do you want to come over for dinner tonight then?"

"Yes, I will… consider it our 2950th date." Mac smiled and Harm looked confused again.

"How do you figure that?"

"I multiplied the number of days we've known each other by the days in a year and then subtracted about how many days that we were either dating someone else or when we weren't looking at each other as a love interest."

"Well then Colonel, you might want to recalculate, because I fell for you the first day we met."

"Nice try Harm, but I'm not that much of a romantic, love at first sight is only in the movies." Mac's heart still did a little flip flop. Aww how sweet! 

"Well I don't think so, so I'll see you at seven?"

"Alright." Mac nodded and then Harm grabbed his briefcase and was about to open the door to leave when Mac called after him with a comment that made him stop.

"Harm, the answer is yes." With one hand on the door Harm turned.

"Yes to what?"

"Don't you think that 2950 dates is plenty of time?"

"Time for what?" Harm was still lost and Mac rolled her eyes, and pointed to his pocket.

"I know what's in there, and my answer is yes." Harm's eyes widened,

Oh man she knows! 

"Umm but I haven't asked you yet and…"

"Yes you did. Almost everyday, you hint it with a sarcastic comment or are downright truthful in a round about way. My answer still stands whenever you're ready."

"You mean it? No regrets? No second thoughts?" Harm questioned walking back over to her. When he reached her she held up her left hand,

"This hand has been empty so long that it's collecting dust and you know how much I despise dust." Mac giggled and Harm smiled. He then pulled from his pocket the small slightly worn velvet box. He was originally going to get another box because he had held it and debated over it and some of the velvet was wearing off. Opening it he pulled out the sparkling diamond engagement ring that he had picked out a very long time ago. No woman had ever worn it and Mac was to be the first and the only one ever too.

"Oh it's gorgeous Harm and it isn't too heavy either, Mic's was so heavy I thought my hand was going to fall off." Mac admired the diamond with a tear in her eyes. Finally she was going to marry the great Harmon Rabb and she was so giddy.

"Can I get a kiss with this ring too?" She asked.

"Well you're an expensive little marine aren't you, but if you want it then, yes dear." Harm leaned down and kissed her softly, but when Mac put her arms around his neck the kiss became heated and passionate. Harm began to move towards the large table and he laid Mac carefully down on it. To them they were the only two that existed in the whole world, but in truth and unfortunately in reality they weren't.

"Umm Commander…Colonel…OH MY GOSH!…" They heard a woman's voice exclaim as a large book hit the floor. Harm rolled his eyes. They couldn't get a moment of privacy could they? Harm and Mac both turned their heads.

"Yes Harriet?… HARRIET!" They chanted in unison then it dawned on them. Both of them scrambled off the table and straightened their uniforms and Mac ran a hand through her hair. Harriet was hyperventilating now and could barely speak,

"Sir…ma'am I…no…idea… had… umm… oh my…"

"Harriet, Harriet calm down, it's okay. We umm shouldn't have been doing what when we were in a place where we could have gotten caught." Mac assured, laying a hand on Harriet's arm. This only caused Harriet to become more excited, when she spotted the ring. She moved her lips but no sound came out as she pointed.

"Harriet, you can't tell anyone yet okay, now I want you to take deep breaths and then I want you to go back to your duties alright?" Mac said calmly. Harriet had found her voice now replied,

"Yes ma'am. My lips are sealed you can count on me." Harriet then hurried down the library with her book and Harm and Mac headed towards the bullpen side by side. They didn't want to arouse suspicion so they headed straight to their offices.

Breakroom

10 minutes later

"Oh Bud thank God I found you! You are never going to believe what I just saw!" Harriet said rushing to Bud's side. Bud turned ready to listen politely on the daily JAG gossip and Harriet began,

"So I was going to the library to put that book back and to look for the Commander and the Colonel…"

"By the way lieutenant did you find Rabb and Mackenzie?" The Admiral asked walking in and Harriet bubbled on before she realized to whom she was speaking.

"You bet I found them. Bud would you believe it they were making out on a table and I swear that if I hadn't walked in they might have…" Harriet stopped and went ramrod straight. Slowly she turned around to see the amused face of Admiral AJ Chegwidden looking back at her.

"You may continue lieutenant." He said calmly and Harriet took a deep breath and took the plunge.

"I tell you that if I hadn't walked in they would have umm how do I put it office appropriately… whoopeed on the table and then, I'm not finished yet. Guess what I saw on her finger Bud?"

"I have no idea, surprise me." Bud answered somewhat dully he was still trying to absorb the first part of the information.

"An engagement ring! They are going to get married, but I'm not supposed to tell anyone… but you can keep a secret right?" Just then they heard the roar.

"RABB! MACKENZIE! GET YOUR SORRY SIXES OUT HERE _NOW_!"

"Bud turned to Harriet and shrugged,

"I can but I don't think the Admiral can, let's go see what kind of trouble they get into now."

"Sounds good, but I hope they don't get in too much of it."

"Honey let's just say the shit has hit the fan." The two of them walked into the bullpen to see Harm and Mac standing at attention and the Admiral facing them surrounded by almost the entire office. Everyone went silent when the Admiral opened his mouth.

"First you two have been a bother since I put you together what with fighting and such. Then just last night you two decided to vandalize JAG with 2ply paper and now I just learned of another offense." There was a collective gasp. "You both were caught fraternizing and threatening to soil Navy property in the library and on top of that I was informed of your new relationship, second hand mind you…"

"Umm sir, there is something I think you ought to see." A marine corporal parted the crowd carrying another videotape, and Harm and Mac exchanged a glance both prayed.

Please don't let that be from the video camera in the library. The Admiral whipped around.

"Is it urgent?" The corporal looked at Harm and Mac then nodded,

"Yes sir."

"Well son then by all means put it in the VCR." The Admiral smiled. The corporal stood on a chair and placed the tape in the VCR of one of the overhead televisions. Harm and Mac waited for him to push the play button and when he did Mac almost fainted. It was the security tape, and the entire bullpen watched as the kiss and table scene was replayed for all to see and Harriet's walking in. To Harm and Mac it was worse without sound and they could hear Sturgis whisper,

"You think they would learn _or_ pay attention at those staff meetings. I'll never sit at that conference table again."

When the tape ended AJ turned to face them and he was smiling.

"Well I think you two have some explaining to do and I think it is appropriate punishment to do it in front of all your co-workers, and it will hopefully teach you not to pull stunts like this again, Commander you go first." Harm gulped and then started,

"Umm I assume you are wondering why we did all this? It was truly my fault, it was my idea to TP JAG because Mac and I were in serious trouble with the Admiral and he did make a statement about it and I guess I took too literally. I convinced Mac to help out and I'm sure now she is probably thinking 'Way to go dummy! I thought you said we weren't going to get caught!' Then this afternoon in the library as you saw I decided to act on the other part of the statement and that was that the Admiral would accept our apology if we got married and well…Mac hold up your hand."

"No!" Mac hissed softly, Harm grabbed her left hand and held it up for the crowd gathered to see. All the women sighed and the men whistled their approval. When things calmed down again Harm finished,

"This wasn't really how we had hoped to announce our engagement but anyway, after Mac accepted my proposal, actually she didn't give me time to propose properly. As you can see things got a little out of hand," Sturgis let out a laugh,

"Well finally after what, eight years they had finally decided to release the penned up sexual tension and thanks to the lovely Lt. Simms we were saved from what would have been worse then a nuclear holocaust." Everyone else laughed at this comment and finally Mac called over the noise,

"I think that is about all. We've told you pretty much everything we did skip the rooftop incident, and I suppose it can wait for another day, we have to keep things office appropriate you know."

"Yes you two do and I hope you know how much trouble you're in." The SECNAV's voice said from the back, everyone parted to let him pass and when he stopped in front of Harm and Mac the room was so quiet you thought everyone had up and died.

"This could cost you both you're careers if it is reported. You are aware of that I assume?"

"We were told the risks Mr. Secretary." Harm said keeping his eyes in the boat (staring straight ahead).

"Good then I am happy to say that if two promise that I won't ever have to hear of anything like this again I won't say anything if you don't, but I don't know what AJ has in store for you so don't think you're off the hook."

"Thank you Mr. Secretary." Harm and Mac chorused together and then just as quickly as it was created the crowd dispersed, and AJ motioned for Harm and Mac followed him down to the basement where he turned on a light to reveal a roomful of files piled everywhere.

"Commander, Colonel, welcome to your punishment. All of these files need to be alphabetized, categorized and put in the legal archives in Washington. So you had better get comfortable and if you decide to do whatever you need to do to relieve the stress, I will let you know that there is no video camera in this room. I hope however that you will have the decency to wait until you are in your own apartments, because it is rumored that Harriet is down here quite frequently to look for some file or another." The Admiral turned away and shut the door leaving Harm and Mac to stare in awe at the masses of files.

"Where do we start?" Harm asked.

"How about we look for the A's and service record files and go from there?" Mac suggested. Harm shrugged and started on a pile while he sat on only table in the room.

They worked for what seemed like hours and then Mac said,

"This will be a story to tell our children someday and to think it all started with a little role of toilet paper."

"More like a trunk full of the stuff. Who said we were having kids?" Harm said and Mac looked sad suddenly and then Harm took her head in his hand and lifted her face to meet his.

"I was just kidding."

"That was mean Harm."

"So, forgive me?"

"As always, now let's get back to work."

"Hey Mac do you think we could get away with loosening the screws on the Admiral's chair so the next time he sits down he falls on the floor?"

"HARM! Don't you even think like that! Now get back to work!" Mac cried exasperated. They worked in silence until Mac thought our loud,

"You know it might not be such a bad idea."

"No way Mac. Stop thinking dangerously."

"I'm not, I'm thinking revenge." Mac looked up at Harm again with a sly smile and Harm wondered aloud,

"What if we…"

**__**

The End


End file.
